In the past I have seen a psychosexual counsellor, and a (very expensive!) top Harley Street (London) sex therapist. Both treatments unsuccessful – that’s when I decided to google ‘vaginismus’ on the internet and stubbled across the website. When the trainers first arrived I felt shocked and upset – and immediately scared about failing. However, what’s great about this program is that it let’s you work at your own pace – no rushing, no pressure.

At 26 years of age, I managed to have full IC with my fiance and live-in partner of 5 years for the first time. I wanted to scream it from the roof tops, I wanted to cry – I felt such a weight had been lifted. Instead, I chose to smile inwardly as this has always been my (and my partner’s) little secret….

I don’t want to share my story to gloat – I want to share my story to hopefully inspire those on the program. It’s taken me a year. At times I had breaks and gave up, at times I cried and felt like a complete failure, at times I felt stupid, at times I felt helpless and abnormal and that I’d never be able to make love to my husband so ‘what was the point’….

I sought comfort by reading other’s comments on the forum. But I also picked up valuable tips; practical tips that really helped me to succeed:

  1. Warm lubricant and trainer in warm water before staring insertion exercises
  2. Persevere persevere persevere
  3. When you think you’ve practiced insertions enough…do it some more (you can never have enough practice controlling your pc muscles)
  4. When it comes to inserting a penis for the first time – straddle the penis facing away from your partner
  5. lubricate lubricate lubricate (I dread to think how much money I must have spent on lubricant!)
  6. Review your declarations, often
  7. Love and respect your own body

And a couple of tips from me:

  1. Only do this program if you feel truly ready – be prepared to explore your past in order to move forward
  2. Read erotic fiction (this helped me to accept IC as a ‘healthy’ act)

Although I’ve achieved IC now, I feel I’ve only started on my journey. I’d like to diminish unhealthy messages and emotions towards IC entirely, and I’d like to be able to achieve a pap smear screening.

I have overcome primary vaginismus. I can tell you it has been the hardest, longest personal battle that I’ve ever had. Now I can thank Mark and Lisa Carter – for they truly are my saviors. I truly believe the vaginismus kit I bought is ‘worth it’s weight in gold’.

Thank you Mark and Lisa.