In the past I have seen a psychosexual counsellor, and a (very expensive!) top Harley Street (London) sex therapist. Both treatments unsuccessful – that’s when I decided to google ‘vaginismus’ on the internet and stubbled across the website. When the trainers first arrived I felt shocked and upset – and immediately scared about failing. However, what’s great about this program is that it let’s you work at your own pace – no rushing, no pressure.
At 26 years of age, I managed to have full IC with my fiance and live-in partner of 5 years for the first time. I wanted to scream it from the roof tops, I wanted to cry – I felt such a weight had been lifted. Instead, I chose to smile inwardly as this has always been my (and my partner’s) little secret….
I don’t want to share my story to gloat – I want to share my story to hopefully inspire those on the program. It’s taken me a year. At times I had breaks and gave up, at times I cried and felt like a complete failure, at times I felt stupid, at times I felt helpless and abnormal and that I’d never be able to make love to my husband so ‘what was the point’….
I sought comfort by reading other’s comments on the forum. But I also picked up valuable tips; practical tips that really helped me to succeed:
- Warm lubricant and trainer in warm water before staring insertion exercises
- Persevere persevere persevere
- When you think you’ve practiced insertions enough…do it some more (you can never have enough practice controlling your pc muscles)
- When it comes to inserting a penis for the first time – straddle the penis facing away from your partner
- lubricate lubricate lubricate (I dread to think how much money I must have spent on lubricant!)
- Review your declarations, often
- Love and respect your own body
And a couple of tips from me:
- Only do this program if you feel truly ready – be prepared to explore your past in order to move forward
- Read erotic fiction (this helped me to accept IC as a ‘healthy’ act)
Although I’ve achieved IC now, I feel I’ve only started on my journey. I’d like to diminish unhealthy messages and emotions towards IC entirely, and I’d like to be able to achieve a pap smear screening.
I have overcome primary vaginismus. I can tell you it has been the hardest, longest personal battle that I’ve ever had. Now I can thank Mark and Lisa Carter – for they truly are my saviors. I truly believe the vaginismus kit I bought is ‘worth it’s weight in gold’.
Thank you Mark and Lisa.