My husband and I got married a year and a half ago in March 2012, having waited
until marriage to have sex (as Christians). As everyone has already said, it
was a horrible shock to discover that he was ‘hitting a wall’ and couldn’t go in
at all. Over the first few months of our marriage, it caused a lot of tension
as it seemed like I just couldn’t relax, and he was frustrated. I felt so
inadequate, and like a failure, as if I wasn’t a real woman. Then I found this
website, and your amazing treatment kit. I worked through the booklet,
alongside seeing a sex therapist (referred by my GP) and a personal therapist.
I realised how negative I felt towards sex having been brought up in a strongly
Christian home, and told not to do it, and then one day (wedding night) to
suddenly do it! It was hard to transition to seeing sex as something positive.
Anyway I worked through those issues and then started using the dilators…
I gave up for a while, as I was additionally going through bereavement and it was too draining to attempt it,
but it began to build tension between us again, even though we were orgasming in other ways. We ended
up having a ‘make or break’ row, where my husband said he’d reached the end of
his patience, and I said I refused to do the treatment without his full support.
We agreed to see it as OUR problem, not MY problem, and since then he’s been
preparing the lube and dialators each night for me, encouraging me, and putting
them in for me sometimes!
Then, 17 months after our wedding date, we finally got to step 10 and managed to
do it, slowly and awkwardly, but it worked! I cried for about an hour
afterwards, letting out all the issues and emotion over it, as its been such a
hard journey. Since then, I’ve realised that sex doesn’t solve everything, or
change your life massively, but it does bring a new closeness and ‘oneness’ that
enriches your relationship. I’m so grateful to you for the kit, and to God for
helping us!
Keep going if you’re still waiting for breakthrough, its unbelievable but it
DOES happen! You need to be determined though, and make time for it almost every
day. All the best…