After over a year of trying to consummate our marriage I decided to search
the internet for answers. I was tired of feeling like a disappointment to my
husband. I was tired of hiding the truth from friends and family..at times even
lying to them when questions about sex came up. I felt so alone. I still
remember the tears rolling down my face as I read testimony after testimony of
women with the same feelings and insecurities that I had. I didn’t feel so alone
anymore! I sent my husband the link to the Vaginismus site as I really wanted to
order the kit, but he was more skeptical of the product & site than I was.
I had been to three doctors who all told me I just needed to relax during
intercourse, I left each appointment feeling more hopeless than before. I
remember even trying to drink a lot of alcohol so that I would be able to relax
enough to have intercourse (didn’t work). Our marriage was in a rough spot– him
feeling rejected and me feeling inadequate. For months, I kept bringing it up
and asking my husband if we could try the kit and finally after almost 2 years
in a sexless marriage he agreed to give it a shot.
Going through the program was very eye-opening for me and helped me learn
more about why I was tensing up so much. It not only helped me retrain my
muscles but also helped to pinpoint where a lot of the anxiety was coming from.
I realized that I had a very negative view of the male body from a very young
age — so much so that it was disgusting to me. The program helped me realize
this is not the truth, that I was believing a lie because of my past. The
graduated dilators also helped it seem more doable to me. There were hopeless
days when I thought I would never be able to have sex (I could barely put a
tampon in) and the program made it seem attainable! And it was! After three and
a half months using the kit we were finally able to consummate our marriage just
after our two year anniversary!
It was an amazing experience getting to have a “honeymoon stage” two years
into marriage! I’m so thankful for this kit, those who have contributed to it,
and the women who boldly wrote in sharing their testimonies! I wish everyone
knew about this kit as a resource for Vaginismus so women would no longer have
to suffer silently!