The following is a list of ten common myths of vaginismus:

  1. Women who have vaginismus are frigid. Frigid is a derogatory term meaning sexually unresponsive. Most women with vaginismus are sexually responsive and deeply desire to make love. When sex always hurts or is uncomfortable it is normal to begin to avoid intimacy.
  2. Vaginismus will go away on its own. Vaginismus does not get better on its own. It requires treatment. The earlier treatment is initiated the more quickly pain-free intercourse will be attained. Do not accept your situation. We have helped many women who have struggled unnecessarily with vaginismus for decades before they sought treatment help.
  3. If we just try harder (keep trying to have sex) it will happen. Continuing to attempt penetrative intercourse while there is pain only makes the vaginismus WORSE – not better. Forcing it does not help. Stop having intercourse if you are having sexual pain and seek treatment.
  4. Taking special vitamins, relaxing, drinking wine, watching porno videos and/or listening to suggestion tapes all cure vaginismus. These things in themselves do not cure vaginismus. Relaxing, meditating, regular exercise, and eating healthy are all important to one’s overall health but do not cure vaginismus. Watching adult videos and dabbling in pornography does not help vaginismus.
  5. Sex is supposed to hurt. Sex is NOT supposed to hurt. With first-time sex there may be some discomfort but ongoing sexual pain is not normal and needs to be treated.
  6. My husband/partner is just “too big” for me. Although it may seem a likely reason that intercourse is so difficult is because your husband/partner is well-endowed, penis size usually has nothing to do with vaginismus. With vaginismus the vaginal muscles are tightening up (without your conscious control) so there is not enough room for the penis to enter. No matter the size of an adult woman, the vagina is designed to accommodate a fully erect penis.
  7. There is no cure for vaginismus. This statement is completely false. Vaginismus is highly treatable.
  8. It takes thousands of dollars to overcome vaginismus. Vaginismus treatment does not need to cost exorbitant amounts of money. We provide effective and reasonably priced resources to women worldwide.
  9. All women with vaginismus have been sexually abused. There are many emotional and physical causes for vaginismus and sexual abuse is just one of them. Women who develop vaginismus often have abuse-free backgrounds.
  10. Surgery will fix my problem. There is no surgery to fix vaginismus – treatment success follows a straight-forward program. In extremely rare circumstances, a woman may have an especially thick or rigid hymen or other malformation that may require minor surgery to correct, but this is the exception.