http://www.vaginismus.com/vaginismus-blog/10-common-myths-about-vaginismus Just another WordPress weblog Thu, 19 Jan 2012 19:32:40 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.2 http://www.vaginismus.com/vaginismus-blog/10-common-myths-about-vaginismus/comment-page-3#comment-4353 kimi Thu, 19 Jan 2012 19:32:40 +0000 http://www.vaginismus.com/v2/feedback/book-set-reader-reviews/10-common-myths-about-vaginismus#comment-4353 Hi I'm 25 years old and recently discovered i have vaginismus. my husband and i got married last year.I was a virgin when i got married and sex has always been painful. sometimes more than others. I cry all the time. my husband tries to be patient with me, but i know he is getting frustrated, and i think he is becoming afraid of having sex with me. He's also a big guy. i often wondered if it was his size or it was me not being able to perform, we have tired using one finger and recently 2 but even that hurts. I have a huge sexual appetite, with out penetration i get multiple orgasms,even from intense making out. I'm in tears writing this, but I'm happy to know there are more woman like me and I'm not alone. i am going to try the dilator http://www.vaginismus.com/vaginismus-blog/10-common-myths-about-vaginismus/comment-page-3#comment-4322 Name Fri, 13 Jan 2012 00:55:08 +0000 http://www.vaginismus.com/v2/feedback/book-set-reader-reviews/10-common-myths-about-vaginismus#comment-4322 I am 19 years old and this is my story. I discovered that I had a problem when I was 17 years old while trying to have sex with my first serious boyfriend (whom I started dating at 15 years old) and it just did not work. I felt so much pain with his penis barely in me but seeing as it was both of our first times, I figured it was normal. A few days later, I tried using a tampon for the first time (thinking it would work considering it is much smaller than a penis) and the exact same thing happened. The pain I felt was unbelievably severe and I did not understand why my body was reacting this way. We tried having intercourse a couple of times again but nothing changed. I started to feel depressed about this so I went to see a gynecologist shortly after. The doctor assumed that I had a “thick hymen” so she scheduled a hymenectomy surgery for me a few weeks later. My boyfriend remained continuously supportive and comforting through this confusing and emotional time but a few months after the surgery, we ended the 3 year relationship due to issues not relating to this problem. We had never tried having sex again following the surgery because I was too afraid that it still wouldn’t work and I feared I would be more disappointed than ever. I tried ignoring my problem and never even tried inserting a tampon again. Despite having the surgery, I had a deep down feeling that I still had this problem. One day, I gathered up the guts to look up “painful sexual intercourse” on the internet and realized what my problem was called; vaginismus. I was 100% sure of it. I looked it up everyday day and I realized that it wouldn’t get fixed without professional treatment, but I still continued to ignore it. A few months later (at this point, I had just turned 18 years old), I started dating another guy. I knew sex would be in the near future but I never told him about my problem. The night we were about to have sex for the first time (he was a virgin, and so was I technically) I quickly warned him about my problem and that sexual intercourse might not be possible/sucessful. Regardless, I still had hope and had faith that the surgery fixed it. Nonetheless, sex still did not work. The pain I felt was the exact same as the first time I tried having sex about one year prior. I was totally embarrassed and ashamed but my boyfriend did not seem to mind and was very supportive. We continuously tried sexual intercourse and the more unsuccessful experiences we had, the more I felt depressed and feared he would get fed up and leave me. He never, to this day, expressed any negative attitudes about my problem and told me he would stay with me through every step of the way which made me feel very comforted and secure. It is VERY important to be in a relationship with someone while suffering with vaginismus who does NOT make you feel bad/ashamed/unwanted because of your issue. That would only make the matter WORSE. I am so very thankful and feel very lucky that my boyfriend has remained supportive and expressed unconditional love. Finally, I decided to see a different gynecologist and she diagnosed me with vaginismus (I was not surprised, obviously). Regardless all the love and support I felt from my boyfriend, I still chose to avoid this problem due to depressed feelings towards the fact that I considered myself “not normal”. I felt that this was totally unfair and did not understand why I had this problem .All my friends would tell me stories about having great sex lives while I listened in misery. After wallowing in self-pity for one more year, I finally decided to take a stand once and for all and see a sex therapist. I am about to turn 20 years old and I have been in therapy for 6 months now, and although I still feel discouraged and depressed at times, I have definitely noticed improvement with the exercises that I am advised to do at home (inserting my finger while learning how to release and control the tight muscles around my pelvic floor). They require a lot of time and concentration, but I have been trying my best. My boyfriend is now able to insert half of his penis, and although I still feel some pain during intercourse most of the time, it is bearable. Seeing this progress has made me hopeful that one day I will fully overcome this :) Don’t lose hope girls! We can beat this! Don’t lose hope girls! We can beat this!]]> http://www.vaginismus.com/vaginismus-blog/10-common-myths-about-vaginismus/comment-page-3#comment-4265 Nicole Mon, 26 Dec 2011 15:20:17 +0000 http://www.vaginismus.com/v2/feedback/book-set-reader-reviews/10-common-myths-about-vaginismus#comment-4265 Reading all these comments from other women just made me so emotional because I suffer from the same problems and it had been such a struggle. I am 20 years old and have tried having sex with a few people. Now that I've had a boyfriend for over a year it is beyond upsetting that I can not share intercourse with someone I love and plan on marrying. At first he was not very comforting about my situation. He is a virgin too and didn't understand what was the problem, even when I told him about vaginismus he said that its fake and I am not different from any other women. That obviously hurt to hear and made me feel so alone. Not to mention my gyno just said 'you are too young, sex is over rated anyways' ...I wanted to go off on her but I knew I would start crying. It is only women like you all that understand. I am buying the dilators from this site and pray to God that I can overcome all of this and the nightmare can finally end. Every women deserves to experience what we all have been told is the most beautiful experience once you find someone right. And no women deserves to feel alone and depressed because she feels she is broken and different from everyone else. http://www.vaginismus.com/vaginismus-blog/10-common-myths-about-vaginismus/comment-page-3#comment-4074 Davina Tue, 22 Nov 2011 20:12:58 +0000 http://www.vaginismus.com/v2/feedback/book-set-reader-reviews/10-common-myths-about-vaginismus#comment-4074 I feel so alone and stupid as i have vaginimus and have tried the dilators but cant use them as it hurts and tried to have a smear test and couldnt cause it hurt and i was tense ihave had pysiothreapy and nothing seems to work and i dont know where to turm i am married and my husband is very supportive and understanding but we want kids and we havent had sex since we got married or since we been together i am 30 year old and have had this problem for over 10 years now, please help me. http://www.vaginismus.com/vaginismus-blog/10-common-myths-about-vaginismus/comment-page-3#comment-3909 Starr Sat, 01 Oct 2011 10:12:05 +0000 http://www.vaginismus.com/v2/feedback/book-set-reader-reviews/10-common-myths-about-vaginismus#comment-3909 WOW!This site is a relief. I am a 37 year old virgin. I was told I have vaginismus 2 weeks ago. It just now settled in to brain that it is not my fault! I'm so thrilled my therapist suggested this site! I was given the dilator set, but it is missing the instruction manual. But I am figuring it out slowly but surely. Thanks! http://www.vaginismus.com/vaginismus-blog/10-common-myths-about-vaginismus/comment-page-3#comment-3676 Anna Mon, 04 Jul 2011 11:00:02 +0000 http://www.vaginismus.com/v2/feedback/book-set-reader-reviews/10-common-myths-about-vaginismus#comment-3676 This website has been incredibly helpful and reassuring for me as a vaginismus sufferer. I found out that I had vaginismus when I was only 18 after trying to have sex for the first time, I was scared and felt very alone and like I was somehow 'abnormal' to everyone else - until I found this website and the support it gives! Now two years on I am successfully on my way to curing my vaginismus with help from the dilator set (which i highly reccommend!!) and also a pelvic floor physio (she is worth her weight in gold, I would also reccommend pelvic floor physiotherapy to anyone with vaginismus). I can now say I am no longer a virgin and have had pain-free sex, just wanting to let everyone else out there that you are not alone and you shouldnt have to suffer in silence! This condition may seem impossible but it is very highly treatable and the treatment on here has been very successful for me. Thank you, it's been so great to read about the stories on here and to know that I'm not alone! Thanks! http://www.vaginismus.com/vaginismus-blog/10-common-myths-about-vaginismus/comment-page-2#comment-3625 Maria C. Thu, 02 Jun 2011 18:47:27 +0000 http://www.vaginismus.com/v2/feedback/book-set-reader-reviews/10-common-myths-about-vaginismus#comment-3625 I have been suffering from vaginismus since I lost my virginity. I thought that I had an STD, a bacterial problem, or some other disability that could be diagnosed and fixed. But after 5 doctors, I have learned that I truly do have vaginismus. My condition has a direct link to emotional and physical abuse. I do pelvic floor massage to stretch the muscles but haven't had any success as of yet. I am begining to see a therapist to deal with my emotional distress. Does any one have any advice to see quicker results? I have been doing my pelvic floor and dialator exercises for 6 months and it hasn't got any better. http://www.vaginismus.com/vaginismus-blog/10-common-myths-about-vaginismus/comment-page-2#comment-3583 J Sat, 07 May 2011 08:04:10 +0000 http://www.vaginismus.com/v2/feedback/book-set-reader-reviews/10-common-myths-about-vaginismus#comment-3583 Thank you for this website. When I first got my period when I was 13, I tried inserting a tampon but it just didn't go in. It hurt and I didn't want to try and insert it further because I was pretty scared... anyways, in my household, my sisters and my mother all use pads anyway so I never really thought about it further. I'm 18 now and when I was around 15/16, my friends often talked about their sex lives and getting fingered. I can only fit one of my fingers in and I tell myself over and over to relax so I can insert another but I felt so uncomfortable with the increasing burning sensation. I felt like such a freak. I recently stumbled upon this website and I'm so unbelievably grateful that I'm not the only one who suffers from this. I used to be afraid to get close to boys (I discovered something was "wrong with me" when I was 15) because I was scared of being embarrassed. Thank you, thank you, thank you! http://www.vaginismus.com/vaginismus-blog/10-common-myths-about-vaginismus/comment-page-2#comment-3557 K Sat, 23 Apr 2011 20:22:16 +0000 http://www.vaginismus.com/v2/feedback/book-set-reader-reviews/10-common-myths-about-vaginismus#comment-3557 I was just recently diagnosed with vaginismus...had never heard of it before, but was hugely relieved to hear there are others out there that suffer as my husband and I do. I was referred to a physical therapist to start treatment. There are few therapits that provide this type of treatment, however for those interested its called pelvic floor and pelvic dysfuntion rehabilition. I've just started, but my therapist is super kind, knowledgeable on the condition, helpful, and patient! Try to find one in your area! http://www.vaginismus.com/vaginismus-blog/10-common-myths-about-vaginismus/comment-page-2#comment-3525 N Wed, 13 Apr 2011 14:10:11 +0000 http://www.vaginismus.com/v2/feedback/book-set-reader-reviews/10-common-myths-about-vaginismus#comment-3525 I am so glad I've found information on this!I've been married for about 2 months now,and my husband and I have yet to consummate our marriage. I'm really lucky that my husband's been very understanding and patient about this. It's been really frustrating for us,and i was overwhelmed with shame and fear when we had numerous failed attempts at penetrative sex.now we know what we should do to improve our situation.thank you so much!