Comments on: 10 Common Myths About Vaginismus

By: Name

Name — Sat, 28 Aug 2010 20:18:24 +0000

I saw this study of vaginismus on the tyra show, and have been so worried and anxiety ridden since the episode so iv finally looked it up today,this site has answered so many questions and im very greatful.i want a further diagnosis but i know in my heart i have it. im only 16 and i dont want to have sex,but iwant the option. iv come close and wanted to once and penetration was impossible the pain was unbareable and him entering me was out of the question.i use to be depressed about never being able to have intercourse and not finding a man who will accept me or being able to start a family. i really hope the treatments work

By: Melanie Cartel

Melanie Cartel — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 11:31:27 +0000

I had suffered Vaginismus & had never had full intercourse. I believed I was alone & that there was simply nothing I could do. However I was in a relationship of one year & my partner was getting continually frustrated, I even felt it would be his right to seek sex elsewhere, as I could not provide it & it was unfair that he went without, although this went against everything I believed in. One day I just felt I am going to have to try & deal with this, so I started to research my condition & realised it was Vaginismus. After coming across this site I decided to buy the cones, so that I could at least try them in the privacy of my own home. At first I felt it would take forever, but I didn't give up. I used the cones every day & kept a diary, eventually after the fourth cone, I knew I could accommodate a full sized penis & went on to have intercourse with my boyfriend, all in the space of one month. I only wish I would have researched my condition earlier, because as soon as I knew what it was, I went on to treat it very quickly. Now it seems that the 15 years of no sex really didn't need to be!

By: deedee

deedee — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 17:39:03 +0000

I'm only 20 but have been in a close relationship for the last three years. Around two years ago however, sex became painful, and impossible, and I searched and searched for answers and finally came across this. Also went to see a (female) doctor, and after an examination which had me shouting and cussing and crying, she diagnosed me with vaginismus. She said I needed to see a sex therapist with my partner. But my partner won't do it, and he believes that if we just keep pushing it'll work. He keeps bringing it up, asking me to try, and then looking upset when I'm reluctant. I can't help thinking that he should find a new girlfriend.

By: kathryn

kathryn — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 19:25:14 +0000

I want to know if...I can still have anal sex even if I have this problem? My sister and I were talking about it yesturday and she brought anal sex up. Would vaginismus also effect my butt muscles?

By: Ina

Ina — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 09:17:34 +0000

I just got married 3 weeks ago... I'm a virgin but he was married before. Was quite depressed when I was unable to consumate my marriage during my honeymoon period. It could go in a bit but was very painful. I thought that first time sex was supposed to be painful. Quite depressing to think that I am not normal. After that my menses came and we stop trying for a week. We really thought that after that would be okay to try again.. but after a few times trying, it became harder. Coz my body was just expecting the same pain. And it became worst till he told me that he can't insert anymore. I discovered this condition after much research and also this website. Have not tried the kit but I do hope that I could overcome this fear. Although I am not sure how could I insert the dilator by myself when he can't insert his penis?

By: Depressed

Depressed — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 01:57:49 +0000

I am so grateful that I discovered this website and this condition. I believe that I have a rather severe form of Primary Vaginismus. I remember going to the pool with my friends in middle school and not being able to swim due to a heavy period. We went to the store and bought tampons for me to try and I went through the entire box with none of them even being able to make it into my vagina. My friends were confused as to how I could "fail" to put a tampon in and told me I just didn't know how to do it. A couple weeks ago I tried again (I'm 18 now) for a friend's pool party and had the same upsetting results. It would burn and hurt when I tried to insert it. I have also never been able to be fingered by my boyfriend. He and I have both tried numerous times and even the pinky barely goes in and then hurts and burns. He tried inserting his penis the other day (with a condom just in case it worked) and it did not go in at all. It was like it was simply hitting a wall. Even when I got on top and tried to go down I was unable to and still got the same burning sensation. I felt so depressed and alone. This website makes me feel a lot better and I plan on seeing a doctor about this sometime this week. I hope that my doctor will listen to me and I can work towards finally fixing this. I would love to be able to go swimming anytime I want and to maybe finally be able to orgasm. Good luck to all <3

By: Hope

Hope — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 18:40:15 +0000

Perhaps I should explain more. I was pregnant 2 months after getting married n we didn't have intercourse. We had a miracle baby n thought having a baby was easy. During our second n third year, we seldom try having sex as I was breastfeedimg n no interest due to tiredness. My hubby was a workoholic n thinking he was fat, also avoided trying sex. During the 4th year, we tried once in a while but unsuccessful. He blamed me cos he thought I find him fat n ugly. He became insecure n thought I may find another man to have sex. On my part, I started to blame him for not practicing sex n I became insecure too. On one occasion, I happened to find out that his boss told him to find another wife. I was upset but I kept quiet n I started to check on him. Then I caught him flirting with his colleagues n I thought it was really unfair cos I am trying n he not putting effort. We quarreled many times. I wanted another child n suggested we seek help from gynae. He felt that we must let nature takes it'd course. He refused to go. Then I wanted to give up n try IVF. He disagreed too. Guess what? My gynae hinted to me that men will go for affairs if they don't have sex n suggest I get mentally prepared. I was breaking down. Nothing is helping. I can't have sex and another child. Then I came across this website n realized that I have some of the symptoms . I am unable to have pap smear but I don't feel Amy pain when trying sex. Now I suspect I have vaginismus. Thanks for the info. I have decided that even if one day my husband leaves me, I must solve this problem of mine. Afterall, nobody can help me but myself. I am glad there are so many ladies out there who can't have sex like me n have succeeded. Thanks for all the sharing. Now I know I am not alone.

By: Hope

Hope — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 17:44:36 +0000

Thanks for the info. I had a baby without intercourse and my girl is now 6 years old. my husband n I never had sex n we are virgins. He thought it's his problem because he is too fat and I thought it was my problem because we didn't " practise" enough. We became insecure n always quarrelled. Now I will find help. Thanks for the info on vaginismus.

By: Gracie

Gracie — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 22:06:52 +0000

It all makes sense now... As a teenager, I'd never been able to insert a tampon and I thought I was doing something wrong. At my first pelvic exam when I was 21, the doctor was unable to complete the exam because I had an unusually thick hymen. I felt better knowing it wasn't just "me". In preparation for a spring break trip to the beach, I decided to use a mirror and insert a tampon. I managed, but when I went to pull it out, it had enlarged and it got stuck on the hymen. Mortified, I used a mirror and scissors on a small part of my hymen to get the tampon out - a terrible experience (and probably a really bad idea in hindsight)! A few years later, after one unsuccessful attempt, I managed to have painful sex in spite of the thick hymen. Then a new pain emerged. My husband & I just assumed it was something left over from the thick hymen, but looking back I wonder if it really was Vaginismus. Several months later, we managed to get past it. Fast forward several more years: 5 months after having a baby girl, I was having increasing pain (burning & tightness) whenever we attempted intercourse. I scheduled an exam with my OBGYN, and she diagnosed it as Vaginismus and sent me to this site. It explains so much! I hope now my husband & I can move forward towards having pain-free sex again (and more babies, too!).

By: KL

KL — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 18:21:40 +0000

I am 21 and went to my first gynecologist visit about a month ago. I was nervous because I had never been able to use tampons and alot of times, sex would be uncomfortable because it felt like my boyfriend would "hit a wall" down there. My doctor just kept telling me to relax. No luck. She told me to try using tampons and come back in a month. Tried tampons one more time with the same results. It was comforting to find this website and know that I'm not alone. I have to go back to the doctor tomorrow and I'm and more nervous than I was last time. I'm looking for ways to relax and trying to stay positive that this time will go better.