Hi, This is T--- from Ethiopia. I am so happy to tell you that I overcome vaginismus by using your kit. Thank you. I am on step ten now I am working to enjoy sex.
"By Far What Helped Me Most"
I started this program in June 2014. At the time I had not been able to have
intercourse for 3 years. My marriage was not consummated and my husband was
ready to leave. Now, 6 months later, our marriage has been consummated and we
are starting over together. I suffered with vaginismus for 11 years. I had
horrible pain during sex and eventually was not able to have sex at all. The
disorder took a huge toll on me emotionally and physically and did the same to
my partner. It eventually affected our relationship and communication, my self
esteem and confidence. Vaginismus very nearly cost me my marriage. During the
years, I had talked to doctors, gyns about my symptoms, but no one ever
mentioned vaginismus. I found this word, diagnosis and this website on my own
desperately researching what was wrong with me. After so many years of pain,
frustration, failure and embarrassment, I was so relieved to find this website,
a place that seemed to finally diagnose me, but I didn't know if anything could
"fix" me, but I was willing to try anything.
I took a chance and ordered the books and dilators.
They absolutely changed my life and have helped salvage my
marriage. I decided to also utilize professional therapy from a sex therapist to
further help me, but I did the books and dilators on my own time and they, by
far, are what have helped me most. It took me 6 months to get through the books
and to graduate though all of the dilators, but now I can have intercourse and
it is not painful. What couldn't be done in all those years before, I did in 6
months. It isn't easy, but it is possible. If you really read the books, do the
worksheets, the muscle exercises, watch the video and practice with the
dilators, really follow the plan - you will see and make progress. Everyone will
have their own time frame. Some will take more or less time than I did. But I
honestly, can't believe I am able to even type out this review after so many
years of suffering. Thank you so so much for giving me my life and marriage back
The reason why I'm writing this account is because this website helped me a lot
and now I feel the need to help other couples. When I found out about the kit
and I read the reviews, despite not having much hope, I thought I should give it
a try. The kit took a few months to arrive because I ordered it from Brazil but
as soon as it arrived I started the program. My boyfriend and I were both
virgins when we first tried intercourse and our first attempt was very
frustrating for both of us. Even though he tried to be careful his movement was
rough and ended up hurting me, I think this contributed to activating my PC
muscles to block the future attempts of intercourse, which were also very
painful. I don't think it was caused purely by this attempt, but also as a
result of my physicological state that was worried about me getting pregnant -
even though we were using the necessary contraception - at an inappropriate time
in both of our lives. We tried intercourse for 4 months, till my boyfriend had
to fly back to his country of origin. He told me that he had searched why we
couldn't have sex properly on online forums and I was doing the same when I
found out about vaginismus and this brilliant website. It took me a while to be
convinced I had it, but as soon as I was feeling sure about it, I let him know
and he supported me. Even though we were living in different countries when I
realised I had vaginismus I did the program, that has some parts dedicated to
couples, by myself and I would always tell him how I was doing. This month,
after almost 1 year of following this program, we were finally able to have
successful intercourse. Now we are very happy and are sure that our sex life
will continue improving with time and practice. So, thank you so much for
putting work on a program that certainly is able to make people's lives better.
Helped Me Totally Overcome "
Several years ago I ordered the vaginismus treatment kit. I've always wanted to
thank you because it helped me totally overcome this problem and my husband and
I are fine now - with a naturally conceived four year old son!
Gained So Much "
My story began at a young age when I was forced to experience things sexually I should not have been experiencing at that time. This affected me as it lowered my confidence self esteem and sexually which was not realised until I found a very special man in my life, we started to have problems with painful sex. I saw gynaecologists who told me there was no issue and it started to affect us even more I would not feel aroused or want to have sex but because of past experiences I felt I had to do it to be loved even though my boyfriend constantly told me this was not the case. 3 years into our relationship we bought a house together and we thought things would get better but they seemed to be worse. We did some research and found vaginismus and all the symptoms matched so I ordered the books and dilators. I was very scared but I persisted daily and continued to feel jealous of people who didn't have a problem and was ready for that to be me and to stop allowing past experiences to affect the now. I always felt I wasn't good enough and through working on the book I have gained so much in relaxation techniques, self confidence and self esteem. And finally the end came pain free but I know this is just the start of my journey in gaining more confidence and self esteem to better my life sexually and personally and not let things stand in my way. I am so grateful of the books and they have been a massive help. Thank you.
Beautiful, Loving, Nurturing "
I'm writing to express my thanks to you for writing such a beautiful, loving, nurturing book that has transformed my sexual relationship with my husband. Together for 16 years, this "issue" which went without a name for about 15 years had us both feeling ashamed, blameful and hopeless. Finally named by a sex therapist we went to for a consultation, we found your book, and worked through it together, along with using the trainers. My husband went so far as to practice the pc muscle exercises with me as his dedication to being part of the solution. Our sexual relationship has been transformed, thanks to working through the book. We can now have intercourse when we choose - it still feels delightfully novel and wonderfully surprising to have so much freedom and ease, and no more shame, blame or pain!
Thank you for writing in such a manner that I felt able to let go of the shame and negativity, and dare to to take each step that was so carefully and supportively laid out. My husband and I are truly grateful!
Felt cared for from the very first contact "
I am forever indebted to you. I don't know what happened but I closed off to my
husband for 23 years...then he had affairs....and I fell
apart completely. All that love and we weren't working intercourse-wise. I had a
book on vaginismus but it was all too psychological and made me just dwell on
myself for answers I never thought I'd find. I went to a doctor and he just
said, 'There's nothing wrong with you; women deliver babies though their vaginal
canal.' He didn't mention anything about my PC muscle, biofeedback, that there
might be others similarly situated. I left sobbing. As a last resort I searched
the web, found you, ordered the kit and got down to work.
The first thing I loved were the people on the phone. So well-trained. Careful
but direct. I just felt cared for from the very first contact. And you got me my
kit in England fast!
My biggest impression was from the declarations. I remember memorizing them and
when I went back to the book to look at exactly what was written, I remember
thinking how each word was important; each word was there for a reason and it
said what it wanted to say exactly right. I loved those declarations. I felt
like whoever was responsible for whole progam just loved .... well.. me. It was
like being taken by the hand and told I was OK...one step at a time...I am not
alone or even that terribly messed up. Mind over matter. I'm 57, had been
defeated for over 20 years and was in a terribly emotional state when I ordered
your kit and you walked me right through!
So I write today because today was the day when I decided having sex with my
husband would not be about concentrating on my PC muscle (unless I hit a
glitch). Today was to look at my husband, breathe him in, smile, be in the
moment and to start to really explore and enjoy this intercourse thing. And it
happened. I am delighted and filled with hope. I feel happy and normal, in
control and admittedly pretty emotional. It was easy and comfortable (not earth
shattering), sweet, and good for us both.
I also remember thinking when I was reading your book--everything I had ever
thought around vaginismus--about fears or myself etc. etc. etc.!--was somewhere
in that book. You never offended or alienated or scared me. I'm a big strong
girl--I'm a lawyer--but this was something I just couldn't figure out.
The only critical comment I have is this: My husband's penis is larger than
your largest dilator (I always believed that was the problem--his size). So I
just went to a sex shop and got a dildo/dilator that was the next size up...well
a bit more) and practiced the same way. I probably should have gotten 2
gradations but they're expensive and I thought I could do it.
Anyhow, I probably should have waited to write to you until I was less emotional
to share all this with you but I've been wanting to say 'Thank You' for a very
long time. It took me closer to 3 months to get to where I am today but I really
wanted to be sure I didn't trigger pain/fear. I'm also grateful that the program
focused on the control of the PC muscle; not endlessly trying to figure out how
or why I shut down. It was so present and future focused which I found so
positive. (NB: I did everything you told me to do in that book. I didn't skip
So with all my heart to all of you, I thank you. I simply must sign this: Love,
Amazing Experience "
After over a year of trying to consummate our marriage I decided to search
the internet for answers. I was tired of feeling like a disappointment to my
husband. I was tired of hiding the truth from friends and family..at times even
lying to them when questions about sex came up. I felt so alone. I still
remember the tears rolling down my face as I read testimony after testimony of
women with the same feelings and insecurities that I had. I didn't feel so alone
anymore! I sent my husband the link to the Vaginismus site as I really wanted to
order the kit, but he was more skeptical of the product & site than I was.
I had been to three doctors who all told me I just needed to relax during
intercourse, I left each appointment feeling more hopeless than before. I
remember even trying to drink a lot of alcohol so that I would be able to relax
enough to have intercourse (didn't work). Our marriage was in a rough spot-- him
feeling rejected and me feeling inadequate. For months, I kept bringing it up
and asking my husband if we could try the kit and finally after almost 2 years
in a sexless marriage he agreed to give it a shot.
Going through the program was very eye-opening for me and helped me learn
more about why I was tensing up so much. It not only helped me retrain my
muscles but also helped to pinpoint where a lot of the anxiety was coming from.
I realized that I had a very negative view of the male body from a very young
age -- so much so that it was disgusting to me. The program helped me realize
this is not the truth, that I was believing a lie because of my past. The
graduated dilators also helped it seem more doable to me. There were hopeless
days when I thought I would never be able to have sex (I could barely put a
tampon in) and the program made it seem attainable! And it was! After three and
a half months using the kit we were finally able to consummate our marriage just
after our two year anniversary!
It was an amazing experience getting to have a "honeymoon stage" two years
into marriage! I'm so thankful for this kit, those who have contributed to it,
and the women who boldly wrote in sharing their testimonies! I wish everyone
knew about this kit as a resource for Vaginismus so women would no longer have
to suffer silently!
Life-changing program "
I am writing to thank you so much for your wonderful program. My wife has
struggled with Vaginismus all her life, has never been able to make love, and
never understood what the real problem was. We have only been together for a
few months but with the help of your program these past two months, we are now
able to make love. Before and during the program it has been an uncomfortable
and challenging time for us, we have both learned so much, and we are so very
happy now. All thanks to your program which gave us the right information and
the right tools to change our lives.
My wife now feels fulfilled as a complete woman and not 'abnormal'
(as she always claimed despite my protests to the contrary) any more.
And very importantly she understands that this condition
was not her fault. I admire my wife for her courage to face her fears, and am
so happy I could be there to support and love her during this life-changing
program. We are much closer now and obviously much happier too. We could not
have done this without your program.
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